Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
