umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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