he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Randomize
