I wish I only lived at night.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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