Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
