Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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