He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
