wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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