Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
