i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
