Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize