all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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