We won't sleep together?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
