sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
