wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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