and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
