Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
