hell yes lets make some ravioli
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
