Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
