i just wanna soil my oats bro
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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