The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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