I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
