So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
