JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
