Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
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