We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize