Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
