No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
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