I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize