I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
