She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize