The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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