Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
