i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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