it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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