How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
