Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Shame - the story of my life.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
