Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
