Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
