I love black thongs
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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