And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
