its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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