Your tits are I can't wait for
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize