oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
