you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
