R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
