I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
