watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
