I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
