it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
i think i scared a bird with my dick
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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