I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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