So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
