are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
