i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
