i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
