her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
