Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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