He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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