Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
