Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
