Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
