So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
