I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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