His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
