Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
