I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
