once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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